10/31/12
It's safe to say that American children usually grow up playing American sports. If that is established, then my childhood was unusual. If I reach deep down into my memory, I think there's a point in my semi-ginger-mullet adolescence that included a peewee soccer ball, or was it a T-ball, same difference. Maybe I was disinterested or maybe my Dad was. Whatever the reason, I was never forced to play or be on a team that I didn't want to. Don't be alarmed, my Dad wasn't completely absentee when it came to athletics, he schooled me in the two most enjoyable activities of life: frisbee and sailing. If for some reason I didn't want to go to sailing camp, my Dad would patiently listen to my case and conclude that it was insufficient. "You're going sailing." End of discussion.
As I understand it many of my friends had similar experiences when it came to baseball or football. Thanks Dad for not making me participate with all the other kids. I'd sooner help Mom cook than play those sports. Unfortunately that leaves me uneducated when I am presented with an opportunity to talk sports. There is little that comes out from under this ginger stache that could possibly further any ESPN-type conversation. I can hang with a comment or two that I've stolen from more knowledgable sources but if the opposing speaker asks me to back up or go further with such a claim, I must be honest. "I'm actually not into sports really, I simply enjoy bandwagoning."
There have been times when a comment like that transforms me from shall we say a skinny Mike Ditka, to a frail social pariah. Sometimes there is a silver lining, the sports fan will look at me earnestly and thank me, "I hate it when people pretend to be something they're not." Those sport fans are the type who will become president someday.
I pay no disrespect to the millions who follow sports with an intense passion. Their dedication and commitment is impressive and they get an almost weekly satisfaction that bandwagoners experience once a month at best. That's because they put in the work to give athletes and other teams the attention they deserve. If I had the patience to troll espn.com and let my eyes bug out down after down on the weekends, then I suppose I'd be able to carry a discourse at a sports bar. As it is that's just not who I am.
There is one specific instance that shed public light on my choice to be a registered sports offender: this year's world series. When the Giants won in 2010 I was watching most games (100% more than I normally would), and I was cheering them on in any situation I could possibly find. It seemed justified because it's where I'm from. For reasons that may mystify you, I was especially enamored with Tim Lincecum. I was so caught up that if you were to cut me, I thought I'd bleed black and orange. I recall smack talking to a lot of true baseball fans, usually after a couple beers just to ruffle their feathers and of course to ride the glory which I put in no effort to attain. In 2010 I was riding the rooftop of the bandwagon and screaming like a 16-year-old out of the sunroof of her birthday limo. True sports fans hated this, not Giants fans mind you, but others. I won't name names but I nearly got in a physical altercation at a GU bar for repping the Giants too fervently. I'd like to think that I've grown up since that sweet 16 bandwagoner into a seasoned wagon rider like those on the Oregon Trail who didn't die of dysentery.
This time around I confined my hoots of joy to the household. I also kept the wagoning to a reasonable level when in public, conveyed interest but not razzle dazzle. I made sure not to post any Facebook claims to fame, for my peers would hear the wheels of my bandwagon from miles away and surely throw sticks in my spokes. However if I pass someone with a Giants hat there's no harm in a gentle fist pump, "Go Giants." It feels good.
I certainly do not condone the behavior of some fans in San Francisco who have contorted their team's success into an opportunity to destroy the city. That is simply unacceptable, deplorable, brainless, and indecent to your community; going against everything that local teams stand for…except maybe the Raiders.
If someone is from a place and knows the general character of that locale, who's to take away their right to cheer? As long as you're not starting fights in bars and it's kept within reason, I say bandwagon all you want, I do and it adds to my daily happiness. For those of you who don't follow sports like me, check it out once in a while because it's a huge part of our culture and cannot be ignored, there's plenty of room on the ole' bandwagon. For those of you who do follow sports, I applaud you and admire your commitment, but please do not feel the need to make it an environment unwelcome to newcomers or weekenders, we just don't know the rules.
Way to go Giants, and cheers to those at the parade today. On that note I'm going to Tunisia tomorrow to visit my Dad and get a refresher course from the master, sailing on the Mediterranean and teaching Africans how to throw a frisbee. Expect updates.
