2/18/14
Unless you’ve been living under a well-barricaded rock, you’re aware that the weather gods are testing us. It boggles the mind to think that they are unhappy. I for one have been doing my part since I learned how to use the stove, making bacon the greasy backbone of every meal.
Yet despite these obvious ploys to please, snow is wreaking havoc in almost every place except Sochi. Airports on the East coast are now as dependable as an alcoholic father, Atlanta recently achieved post-apocalyptic freeway status, and I’m fairly certain Northern Minnesota has declared a state of perma-permafrost.
Many people have been justifiably frustrated by this but let’s be optimistic, this is an opportunity to prove your worth as the human race. When others cower at the sight of a storm and whine about getting wet, be the person who shows off survival skills and laughs at the site of a downpour.
Too many people have been stranded in cars and stayed home from work due to the weather conditions of late and it raises some concerns about our credit as a species.
Having graduated 3 credits short of an environmental studies minor, I’m an expert in all relevant climate studies published before 2011. I’m sure a lot has changed since then but my overall conclusion has not: we’re screwed.
After sitting through four semesters of very depressing data, it became apparent that there’s no turning back. Humans are not sustainable, end of story. Our grandkid’s grandkid’s grandkid’s etc will basically be dodging floods, hurricanes, tsunamis, and squalls (one of the best words ever).
What’s happening right now is the domestic Olympic trial. This is the precursor for hundreds of years from now when our descendants have to step up to the plate and survive in something fierce, the future.
The good news, we have lots of time to transition from the dweebs we are to the badasses our ancestors will have to be. Our situation isn’t so dire that we need to learn how to skin an elk in five minutes, we can be the generation of baby steps.
Start small, get a raincoat and have it on the ready. Maybe trade in your fifth pair of heels for some serious boots (Xtra Tuffs if you mean business). If you’re thinking about buying a car, it is beyond me why anybody would avoid 4WD. Come on dumb dumbs, make good choices.
If none of that sounds appealing to you, another tactic is your local Bear Grylls. Everybody has a friend that is a go-to for survival scenarios. Mine lives in Alaska, go figure. Find that friend and study them, notice how they never leave home without a water bottle, ask them about their gear and I guarantee you will get a worthwhile lecture. Evolutionarily speaking, they are your superior, regard them as such.
We need to stop bandying around like bipedal pansies and get down to business with Mother Nature, she’s been drinking as of late.
