6/26/18
When I was 20 years old I visited my roommate at his summer job as a rafting instructor on the Deschutes river in Oregon. He knew the little town of Maupin like the back of his hand, so much that most illegal access areas were open to a smiling river rat like him. So we went to the highest jumping point guarded by a national park service ranger who high fived our buddy and let us through.
I resolved not to look until I jumped. It was somewhere between 60 and 80 feet high and you can see from the look on my face, the drop was a surprise.
Afterwards, I was extremely proud of my accomplishment and sent the photos to my family. My Dad’s response stood out. Instead of astonishment or congratulations, he made fun of me for going bald.
Zooming in a couple hundred feet he clearly pointed out a bald spot beginning. He averages 10 emails a week so I wrote it off as too much computer time on his part, my hair was wet, whatever Dad.
Not long ago I was at a bachelor party watching Rafa Nadal win the French Open for the 14th time in his career. My friends chuckled “his hair looks like Mac’s” noting that it was thinning, not the lustrous locks he’d been branded with in the past. I laughed with them and made sure that mine wasn’t that bad…yet.
To go from outright denial at 20 to acceptance eight years later was not easy. In all honesty, the concept never occurred to me until my 28th birthday when a balding Bruno made fun of my own bald spot. He’s a tough love friend but good to have around because we were surfing three times a day in Indonesia at the time. Without his commentary I wouldn’t have sprayed sunscreen on my balding spot and it would have been a painful trip.
It was more than just adjusting my sunscreen routine, I had to come to grips with balding. Other young guys going bald always seemed to place too much importance on hairlines. But to me it was a clear inevitability based on their fathers, why were they surprised? Hadn’t they prepared for this their whole life? Until recently, I subscribed to the Grandfather on your Mother’s side myth. If he had his hair, so will you.
Myth busted. If you’re living by that ignorant tale, reorient to your dad’s shiny head and prepare yourself both mentally and emotionally. I purposefully picked desks in the corner at work for a month straight when I found out my stupid hair had quit in the top center. I didn’t want anybody discovering what I had when they walked by a sitting, balding, Mac.
If it weren’t for Bruno, I’m not sure when I would have found the spot – it’s impossible to see from my perspective. Being self aware is impossible without friends to keep you in check. The next time your buddy gives you a hard time, don’t brush it off, listen and dig in if you think there’s more truth than jokes in it. Be thankful that your friends are assholes and love to make jokes at your expense, otherwise you’d have no idea you’re balding. While ignorance is bliss, self awareness prevents sunburns.
