Written 12/6/23

I love being a pre-Dad. Nobody told me about the insane excess social currency that came with expecting.

It’s like the get-out-of-jail free card I never knew existed. I can use this upcoming life event in almost any scenario and instantly garner sympathy and joy from strangers to close loved ones. If a client call isn’t going in the right direction, I can drop in that they may not see me for a few weeks because we’re having our first baby soon, watching a tough customer melt into a genuine ally instantaneously is dangerously thrilling.

Is this why people have so many kids? You can get away with just about anything if you disclose that yep, we’ve got a baby on the way! Did I just park in the wrong spot? Oh sorry, my wife’s super pregnant and my mind was elsewhere. You don’t have any more of that type of bread? Dang, my super-duper pregnant wife was really depending on this. Oh, you have just one more behind the counter suddenly? Fantastic.

Social currency aside, I prefer the anticipation of this life event to that of our wedding celebration. This one we have all the work on the back end rather than up front. Weddings are all stress and spending until one very full, very quick event. Yes, there’s plenty to be stressed about when you’re growing a baby, but if you’re lucky enough to avoid major complications, I’m in the camp that this will pale in comparison to actual parenthood problems.

Mind you, this is coming from a human male, not a seahorse male, so I can’t be credited for doing any of the heavy lifting here. Day after day Lauren’s gate becomes more humpty dumpty while I find all the extra food and errands are making me somehow...stronger? So really this “free” social currency comes at a cost that Lauren must pay. A word of advice to any pre-Dads to be, in the 9 months it takes to get to term, remember: be more agreeable than usual, in fact, actively avoid disagreements because 99% of the time you are wrong, and all this social goodwill is being paid for on the back, hips, and swollen feet of your lovely wife. So pay it forward and put her socks on with a smile.

Baby brain…ya I went overboard with the Mardi Gras babies at work.

In a lot of ways I need to write this as a telegram for my future self.

Hey, you with the bags under your eyes and oddly shaped dad bod: thanks for the good times, your past self really did enjoy this feeling.

In conclusion, I genuinely can’t wait to meet our daughter. It’s brought us to tears so many times at how curious, how excited and how over the moon we are to discover what life we’re going to bring into this world.

If you found this piece too rambling or self indulgent – my bad, I’m about to have my first kid and my pregnant wife totally made me write this.